Infinite Edibilities
by Orangehead97
Summary: A normal day in the Cul-de-Sac turns into an adventure beyond the universe when the Eds' latest scam creates a portal to other worlds. What will they find in their journeys? Is there a danger the world must face?  New chapters posted each Tuesday


_Disclaimer: All subjects mentioned in the story that are part of the show this fanfiction is based on are properties of that show, and are owned by the distributor. The author is meerly borrowing said characters to be used in the story. Some character differences between the story and the original show is to be expected. All other entities not affiliated with the parent company were invented by the author, and are owned by him. Any attempts of other authors to include said characters in another fictional story must include respect to the author._

**Infinite Ed-ibilities**

_August 9, 2001_

Chapter One

The summer sun rose silently over Peach Creek. Light filled the bends and turns of building-laden streets as the population began their daily business. The Candy Shop opened its doors to treat-lovers across town, while the staff at Peach Creek Middle School prepared for another school year. One area, in particular, was Rathink Avenue, and one person, in particular, was Edd.

Double D, as people usually called him, woke up on this Thursday morning with a smile on his face and a mind awaiting today's experiences. Straightening himself, Edd sighed, the eyes of the pajama-clothed boy glancing at his room. All over his walls, in every nook and cranny, every object he owned, right down to the floor, there were labels. Ah, labels. They were splendid items that allowed him to supervise and track his daily life. Where would he be without labels?

He pulled himself from the bed, stepping into his bunny slippers. Once so, he did what he considered the palpable thing to do: take out his steam iron and remove the creases from his bed linen. The smell of fresh steam straightening up the bed's textile danced in his nostrils. Soon he was finished and ready for the next stage in his daily routine: a shower.

Calmly, his ski hat joggling delicately on his head, he walked over to his closet, labeled such. With a simple stepping onto two weight-sensing footpads, he was allowed to handle the aptly labeled "door knob". A turn revealed the organized mass of clothing and shower ware inside his closet.

Firstly, he grabbed his powder blue pocketed dressing gown, as any sensible person would use, in his belief; a simple cutting of this week's package would suffice. Next came a shower cap, sanitized of course, a cylindrical loofah, and soap. He didn't forget his new Thursday hat, thankfully; he always had on a new hat after the shower. He bent down to his hat shelf, each one the same black ski hat, and selected the "Thursday" choice.

Last, and certainly the opposite of least, came the shower. Exiting the room, humming cheerfully, all his needs satisfied, Edd walked towards the bathroom. Oh, the shower, how he adored its sprinkling splendor, it's cascading cleansing, its steamy serenade, and an imperative step to each and every day…

He briefly thought about how he really needed to say something new about showering. A line can get really stale after 6 years.

Still, there were more important things to be done. One's cleanliness has to be enforced. So Edd opened the main bathroom door. Another step in his daily life.

The summer sun rose silently over Peach Creek. Light filled the bends and turns of building-laden streets as the population began their daily business. One area, in particular, was Rathink Avenue, and one person, in particular, was Edd.

But this part isn't about Edd. If it was, then we would just be repeating ourselves. No, this is about two friends of his. Two friends that make you question why anyone would be friends with them.

Ed and Eddy strolled along the edge of Rathink Avenue– the cul-de-sac, as the kids called it. Eddy was one of those people that had a Napoleon complex, and by that we mean he was small, but instead of wanting to be the best whatever he just wanted money. Now he would have tried to find a job somewhere, but because he was just 12 years old and had that aforementioned Napoleon complex, there was no way he could qualify, let alone make it to pay day. So he resorted to the next best thing: making scams to swindle the lovely cash off the other kids in the cul-de-sac.

Now scams, by definition, are incredibly easy to make, so you can focus all your energy on making it work. But while Eddy succeeds in Phase 2, Phase 1 is climbing Mount Everest to him. That's where Ed and Double D come in. The former's strength and latter's knowledge would help him through that dreaded Phase 1.

"Ed! Quit stallin'! Do you want me to play rough again!"

Now if only Ed didn't ruin Phase 2.

The old lump had his eyes on another butterfly, as if they were the most unique and important thing in the world. Which, as Eddy so wisely knew, was not.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty…" babbled the brain-dead Ed. How he got that way was beyond Eddy's awareness. Ed probably got it when he was a baby or something.

"Hey Ed, if you don't get over here, then…" Eddy paused for a bit, trying to think of a way to get Ed's attention. "…I'll tell your mom!"

In a flash, Ed's eyes widened with horror, his pupils growing circles around them. A great rush of yellow led to Ed perching on Eddy's blocky head, constantly muttering, "Don't tell mom, don't tell mom, don't tell mom…"

It was a good thing that he learned it from Sarah, Ed's sister and Eddy's nemesis. It seemed like it was a catchphrase of hers, a simple response to Ed's ignorance. But when Ed's like this, it gets pretty annoying.

Eddy grumbled, "Get off me, Ed. You're killing me." It wasn't just the weight, though it was a wonder that his only sign of his titanic mass was a little stomach bulge. Ed was a walking landfill with his putrid smell, disgusting habits, and yellow skin. He had yellow skin. What kind of a person has yellow skin? Yellow on a shirt isn't bad; Eddy was wearing one right now. Yellow on skin is terrifying.

"Come on, Ed, get off," Eddy grunted, pushing on Ed. It was no use, though; Ed sat like a rock in fear. Eventually, Eddy gave up. He might as well just go to Double D's house and hope Ed would recover by then.

It didn't really matter by then, anyway. He had a new scam, a scam that would bring his suckers rolling right in. It was beautiful, glorious, one for the angels. Money would fly to him at the speed of sound, and jawbreakers, a wonderful thing second only to money, would come right after. It would be the greatest scam Eddy ever pulled!

Of course, that's what he said about every scam he made.

Edd had just got out of the shower and was now dressing himself. It was rather simple, really; an orange shirt with short sleeves and flat collar, purple shorts with twin pockets, red long socks, blue Velcro tennis shoes, and the classic black ski hat. It was a summer classic of his, and he could be easily recognized in a crowd. He designed the attire himself, although it took some trips to the store to bring it to reality.

This particular time of the day, twenty minutes after rousing, commenced the start of sticky note removal. Basically, his parents, while at their daily careers, would indirectly communicate with their son via sticky notes. They were generally about how he had to perform certain chores like dish-washing or dusting; once, they told him to do some regrettable things, but that awkward time was in the past.

Today, the usual chores were needed: a simple vacuuming, cleaning dishes, some dusting of the living room fan, and the laundry. Edd immediately proceeded to take out the vacuum from the first floor closet.

Edd had an obsession over chores, to say the least. He would try and try and try to accomplish the goal the as completely as possible. Ever since he was young, he had this duty to be the best, this addiction to success. Any failure was to be avoided at all costs. This need for success pushed him through his chores, be they mundane or anomalous.

Edd had just plugged in the vacuum when he heard thuds from the door. Carefully unplugging the cord, he walked over to the front door. With the deactivation of some locks, he opened the door to reveal, to his surprise, his two friends, Ed and Eddy.

"What are you two doing up so early?" Edd inquired. This wasn't their usual time to wake up.

"I just thought up the greatest scam yet! Come on, let's go–" Eddy turned to where he wanted to go before Edd stopped him. The invitee had a displeased look on his face.

"Eddy, you didn't answer my question."

"So?"

"…"

"Well… I didn't need much sleep. Now come on, let's go!"

Suddenly, Edd was thrust into the air, Ed carrying him. The smell of Ed's body burned into his eyes and nose. Ed followed Eddy, rushing across thestreet for that scam Eddy mentioned. What was it this time? Who knows, but at the rate Eddy was going along, he'd be out of ideas by this winter.

The summer sun rose silently over Peach Creek. Many people went along their daily lives, working, playing, and relaxing. None were aware of the impending doom boorishly mentioned by news media. None would know that three would venture to beyond their world, to realities not seen before.

_Read and Review, an important part of each author's breakfast._


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